Part Four of Destroying Bitterroot Judgments and Breaking the Chains of the Past How can we identify our bitterroots? Look for patterns or habits that you are aware of in your own life that have brought you fear, doubt, rejection, heartache, jealousy or anger. These patterns may be from judgments that you have made against your mother or father. Notice situations where you repeat the same behavior over and over.
You may have difficulty seeing your bitterroot judgments. Pray and ask God to reveal the judgments that you have made against your parents. These judgments were made over many years. Make a list of your bitterroots. It may take some time. God will reveal what you need to know when you need to know it.
The first time that I made a list of my bitterroot judgments against my parents, it took me three weeks. I was reluctant to make the list because I felt that making the list was disloyal. However, I was not looking for my bitterroots in order to judge my parents. I was looking for my roots in order to take responsibility for my sinful judgments. I made those judgments over many years.
As you look at your list of bitterroot judgments, focus on habits or patterns that you have noticed that have repeatedly brought you frustration, heartache, or grief. Do you repeat patterns of behavior that are damaging to you or others? How many times have you confessed your sinful behavior to God and asked forgiveness for your sin? Do you continue to repeat the behavior no matter how much you confess it and pray to be set free from it?
Some examples of bitterroots that indicate that you might have judged your parents are perfectionism, addictions, critical spirit, emotionally unavailable, hostility, manipulation, working continually, rejection, uncontrolled anger or rage, bitterness, rejection, or performance orientation.
How Do You Cancel a Bitter-Root Judgment?
1. Confess your bitterroot judgment. Name whom you judged and what you judged them for.
2. Pray for forgiveness and repent and renounce your sin, which means to fall out of agreement with it.
3. Ask God to nail your sin of judgment to the cross. (Colossians 2:13-14)
4. Allow yourself to grieve any feelings of pain or loss and release them to God.
5. Ask God to remove any unforgiveness or other sins from your heart and replace them with the opposite of those sins.
6. Ask God to give you a new heart by faith. Ezekiel 36:26
7. Ask God to meet the needs that were not met in you as a child. Some of the basic needs for adults and children are unconditional love, acceptance, worth and value, security, recognition, nurture and emotional nourishment, and comfort.
8. Ask God to show you how this bitterroot has affected your relationships with others. Pray for God to heal those
9. Thank Him for your answered prayers. (Philippians 4:6)
Ask God to lay the ax to the roots of your bitter judgments. Matthew 3:10 says, “ And already the axe of God’s judgment is swinging toward the root of the trees; therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.” (AMP)
What are some of the benefits of forgiving through the generations and breaking the chains of the past on the present generation and future generations? A few of the benefits are love, joy, peace, faith, freedom, forgiveness, grace, mercy, gratefulness, kindness, goodness, healing of relationships, flexibility, and acceptance of others.
You can become a repairer of the breach who restores relationships. Isaiah 58:12 says, “Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.” (NASB)
Finally, there are many blessings and advantages that come from forgiving through the generations. You can rebuild some of the broken relationships in your family. You can repair the destruction of many generations. You can help to heal the wounded hearts and the grief of some of your family members.
Isaiah 61:4 “Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, They will raise up the former devastations; And they will repair the ruined cities,The desolations of many generations.” (NASB)
Take the steps to restore, raise up, and renew your generation.
Part Three of Destroying Bitterroot Judgments and Breaking the Chains of the Past
In relation to forgiving others, two of the most important people whom you can forgive are your mother and father. A bitter-root judgment is a judgment that a person makes at some time during their childhood against his or her father, mother, or caregiver. Many times it is a subconscious judgment rather than a conscious one. It goes down deep into his or her heart, mind, and spirit.
A root of bitterness comes from unforgiveness and can lead to resentment that defiles others. It comes from failing to secure God’s grace to forgive, as Hebrews 12:15 says, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled….” (NASB)
These judgments are rooted in the past and can influence your present and your future. Then, because of the law of sowing and reaping and the law of judgment, the one who judges at some point in his life sentences himself to do the very thing that he judged in his parents. If the bitterroot judgment is not broken by the confession of the person who made it, then the one who made the judgment will reap the bitter roots of their judgment in one or more relationships with people who are important to them. Romans 2:1-2 says, “Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things.” (NKJV)
There are many laws that God has given us throughout the Bible that influence our lives profoundly. There are three laws that deeply affect all of us. The first law is one of the Ten Commandments which says, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16 AMPC). God wants us to honor our parents, not judge them. If we honor our parents, our lives will be long, and life will go well with us. This is a command with a promise.
The second law of judgment states that we will receive judgment or experience difficulty in the same areas of life in which we have judged others. Here is what Matthew 7:1-2 says,” Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you use to deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.” (AMPC)
The third law is that we will surely reap what we sow. Galatians 6:7-8 says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” (NASB)
To honor our parents is to esteem, respect, and value them as precious. God wants us to honor our parents but not to judge them. If we judge them, we condemn them. The command to honor your mother and father is a command that is written throughout the Bible. It is not an option. Judging your mother or your father blames them for being human and less that perfect. To honor them, on the other hand, accepts their humanity. It treats them with respect while obeying them. Part Four that follows will give you some tools to identify bitter-root judgments that you might have against your parents and how to cancel those bitter-roots.
In part one, I identified many of the generational sins of my extended family that have afflicted us throughout numerous decades. Generational sins are weaknesses or tendencies that are handed down to us through the generations from our parents or family members. These sins can involve behavioral patterns and ways of thinking that keep us trapped in the past.
There are many different kinds of generational sins. Once a sin pattern begins in a family, it can continue and multiply among the family members. It can last for many generations and can become a stronghold and a stumbling block for the whole family. I have included examples of generational sin that are recorded in the Old Testament from the lives of Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Esau, Rebekah and King David. The results of their sins affected generations of their descendants and their families.
Abraham’s family is a prime example of generational sin repeating itself from one generation to another. On two different occasions Abraham lied about his relationship with his wife Sarah. He claimed that she was his sister because he was afraid of being murdered. The lying spirit in Abraham’s family continued on in Genesis 26 when Isaac told the men of Gerar that his wife, Rebekah, was his sister. He was afraid that they would kill him and take her. Both father and son lied about their wives because of their own sins of fear and doubt.
In Genesis 27 Jacob deceived Isaac and stole his birthright and blessing. It was important for Isaac to give the first-born family blessing to Esau, the one whom God had chosen. Rebekah heard Isaac say that he was going to give Esau the first-born blessing so she schemed to get the blessing for Jacob. She arranged with Jacob to deceive Isaac when he brought him a meat dish so that Esau would not get the blessing. The sins of lying and the deception of his mother and brother were excruciatingly painful to Esau who lived the rest of his life without the blessing of the first born which was rightfully his.
King David committed generational sins, which resulted in death. He lusted after the wife of one of his soldiers, Bathsheba. He arranged to sleep with her and she became pregnant. After finding out about her pregnancy, he sent her husband Uriah into a fierce battle and had him assigned to the place where the enemy’s skilled soldiers fought. Uriah, who was a Hittite and Bathsheba’s husband, died in the battle. “But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord.” 2 Samuel 11:27b (AMP)
The Lord sent Nathan to tell King David that he would be punished for the murder of Uriah. 2 Samuel 12:13 says, David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” And Nathan said to David, “The LORD also has allowed your sin to pass [without further punishment]; you shall not die.” (AMP)
The Lord let David live but 2 Samuel 12:14 says, “ Nevertheless, because by this deed you have given [a great] opportunity to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme [Him], the son that is born to you shall certainly die.” (AMP) King David who was called ”a man after God’s heart” lied, lusted and committed adultery. Then he manipulated battle positions to have Uriah killed in a fierce battle. His punishment was the death of his son.
We do not have to surrender to the binding power of our sins or the sins of the generations. God made provision for our release from our sins many years ago when His son, Jesus, died for our sins on the cross. When we appropriate Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins for ourselves and confess our sins, we have taken the first step to break the binding power of generational sin. Psalm 79:8-9 says, “O do not remember against us the sins and guilt of our forefathers. Let Your compassion and mercy come quickly to meet us, For we have been brought very low. Help us, O God of our salvation, for the glory of Your name; Rescue us, forgive us our sins for Your name’s sake.” (AMP) Part three of this article is Destroying Bitter-Root Judgments to Break The Chains of the Past. It concerns forgiving two of the most important people in your life: your mother and father. By identifying any judgments that you have against them and confessing and repenting of those judgments you can break the binding power of the past over you.
This is part one of a four-part article on Forgiving Through the Generations: Breaking the Chains of the Past and Destroying Bitter-Root Judgments to Break The Chains of the Past.
When I became a Christian I was convicted of many sins that I had committed. I went through a very long season of confessing and repenting of my sins and asking God for forgiveness. As I was focusing on my sins, I realized that other members of my family were struggling with some of the same sins.
As individuals and families, my extended family had committed many generational sins over the years. What is generational sin? It is disobeying God’s commandments by sinning against His laws. It is also worshipping anything other than God, which is idolatry. Generational sins are weaknesses or tendencies that are handed down to us through the generations from parents or members of our family. These sins can involve behavioral patterns and ways of thinking that keep us trapped in the past.
I am very blessed to come from a large family on my mother’s side of our family. My maternal grandmother was one of nine children and my maternal grandfather was also one of nine children. My grandparents and their siblings were born in the late eighteen hundreds and the early nineteen hundreds. My ancestors were very hard working people.
Within our family there were soldiers, farmers, blacksmiths, carpenters, preachers, mechanics, architects, saddle makers, and many dedicated mothers. Every one of my ancestors made their own way and earned their money in difficult times. They were basically good people who persevered through many agonizing years of personal and financial difficulties. Many of my ancestors were loving, steadfast, courageous, faithful, realistic and practical people. They did the best that they could do in the circumstances of their lives.
Because sin can be passed down through the generations, each person is responsible for his or her personal sins against the Lord. Ezekiel 18:30-32 says, “Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, each one in accordance with his conduct,” says the Lord GOD. “Repent (change your way of thinking) and turn away from all your transgressions, so that sin may not become a stumbling block to you. Cast away from you all your transgressions, which you have committed [against Me], and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! For why should you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone who dies,” says the Lord GOD. “Therefore, repent and live!” (AMP)
Some of the generational sins that have had a hold on my family members over the years are unforgiveness, lying, bitterness, fear, worry, judgment, resentment, pride, rejection, envy, jealousy, anger, abuse, covetousness, doubt, unbelief, rebellion, drunkenness, manipulation, greed, lust, idolatry, fornication, adultery, hatred, molestation, incest and revenge.
There are many different kinds of patterns of generational sins. Once a sin pattern begins in a family, it can continue and multiply among the family members. It can last for many generations and can become a stronghold and a stumbling block for the whole family. This article will continue in Part Two with three examples of generational sin from the Old Testament and the consequences of those sins.
Many years ago I attended a Christian Writers’ conference that was physically and intellectually demanding. I was looking forward to the conference’s Palm Sunday worship service as a time of refreshment and preparation for Easter. I walked down the path toward the chapel and I found a friend sitting near the front. As I sat down next to her, I sighed deeply. The service began with singing and instrumental music. A young woman sang “The Old Rugged Cross” and another woman accompanied her with sign language. As I listened to the song, I could see a dark wooden cross in my imagination. Jesus was on that cross. He asked me a question, not audibly, but inside my mind. He asked me why I continually brought my burdens to the cross and never left them there. I did not have an answer for Him.
I saw in my mind a large flat wagon behind me as I stood at the foot of the cross. It was filled with the people who had sinned against me and the people whom I had sinned against. These were people that I had chosen not to forgive. The people in the wagon were symbols of the pain and wounds of my past. The offenses against me had become burdens that were weighing me down. As long as I would not forgive, my past followed me everywhere I went in my mind and my heart.
I did not know why I would leave my unforgiveness and burdens at the foot of the cross and pick them up again. I realized that the Lord wanted to free me from my unforgiveness and sins. I asked Him to help me.
He asked me to leave my burdens of unforgiveness and sins at the foot of the cross and move away from them. From my new perspective of the cross in my imagination I saw a deep narrow trench encircle the cross. God was marking the cross with His boundary. He put that boundary there so that I would not continue to pickup my burdens of unforgiveness and sin and drag them with me. I felt the Lord was saying to me that He wanted me to let go of the past so that I could live in the present and look forward to the future.
I was weary from the weight of my sins of unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment that were rooted in my past. My pain had served its purpose because it had brought me to the cross to receive forgiveness, cleansing, and healing.
Inside my imagination I knelt outside the boundary at the cross and asked the Lord to forgive my sins and my unforgiveness toward all of the people that He had brought to my mind. I released each one to His love and care and asked Him to bless them. I thanked Him for the boundary at the cross. By faith I released my past to Him.
I resist the urge to pick up any of my old burdens. I entrust my past with all of its pain to God. He is my burden bearer and my healer. Now I can joyfully live in the present and look forward to the future.
Because God’s knowledge of you is all encompassing, He is able to meet your needs. He can meet your needs for unconditional love, acceptance, worth, value, recognition, security, comfort, nurture and emotional nourishment. He knows and understands each struggle and victory in your life.
Nothing is hidden from Him. He is with you in this moment. Everything that you encounter in your life is used by God to prepare you for your future. The challenges that you have and the life skills that you learn today are preparation for tomorrow.
God wants to use everything that you go through including your joys and sorrows. Every painful experience and every difficult day can be redeemed when it is filtered through your relationship to God. He is the ultimate recycler of your life. He will use everything that you go through if you let Him. Each situation that you encounter has a purpose from God’s perspective. He has many lessons to teach you. God Himself chooses these lessons on a uniquely individual basis. Life is meant to be full of learning experiences that you share with others for your benefit and theirs.
I have wondered many times in my life why the Lord allowed someone or a group of people to hurt me, members of my family or friends. I have decided that one reason is that He wants me to pray for the person or persons who inflicted the pain.
You can respond to any offense against you through prayer. I believe that the prayer of forgiveness can change your personal world as well as the world around you. You can share the life-changing release of forgiveness with everyone, whether they know that you are praying for them or not. Prayer is a powerful tool for change at any time.
You can pray for yourself or anyone else at any time. When you enter into prayer, God uses you and your faith in Him to bring about change .You become an agent of change and an ambassador for the Lord everywhere you go. He wants to bring you out of a regular day on this earth into a God-centered and God-focused life. This kind of life brings you love, joy, peace, and rest.
The struggles that you are facing prepare you for the lessons that you need to learn in order to live the unique life that has been designed just for you by the creator of the universe, your father God. You are precious to Him.
The steps of forgiveness can set you free from the binding power of unforgiveness by opening the door to the prison of unforgiveness as you forgive. When you walk in forgiveness, you are set free to leave the past behind you by faith. As you make the choice to quit dragging your past behind you, you can embrace each day of your life because you are free to live in the present and look forward to the future.
This book is an investment in your life and future. If you have received the grace of forgiveness from Jesus, He wants you to share that forgiveness with others. When you release someone from your unforgiveness, you have a chance to change your life and their life by forgiving them. If you forgive five people and each one of those five people forgives five people, you could be part of a revolution that releases others into the freedom of forgiveness. The forgiveness that you give to other people increases as they forgive.
Forgiveness frees you from the past and the burdens of the past. God has made provision for you to release all of your burdens to Him. Forgiveness brings healing to your life and the lives of others.
I encourage you to become an ambassador of forgiveness. The land of forgiveness has many benefits and blessings. There are two requirements to becoming a forgiveness ambassador. Learn everything that you can about forgiveness and practice forgiveness daily. Accept the challenge to set yourself and others free as you make space for grace in your heart through forgiveness.
In the Roots of Unforgiveness chapter in Forgiveness: Making Space for Grace, I have written about the righteous root in my family, my grandmother Grace. She reflected Christ’s character; she was joyful in her faith and she was a grateful person. She had a loving heart and she prayed for her family and friends. She also had a servant’s heart and enjoyed helping people in need. She saw something in me that I did not see in myself. Through her love and acceptance of me, she showed me that I had gifts and abilities that I did not recognize.
God sees many gifts in each one of us. Often these are gifts and talents that we don’t see in ourselves. If we will listen and observe carefully, God will show us who we are as He sees us. He is very familiar with our aptitudes and characteristics. He can reveal who we are in the most unexpected ways.
Think about your childhood and remember what you liked to do that was easy or fun for you. Did you enjoy drawing, painting or writing? Have you ever written the words to a song or the music for a song? Did you enjoy playing a musical instrument or singing? Is there a sport that you really enjoyed participating in? Any of the above questions can be used to discover some gifts or aptitudes that God has given you.
When you begin to think about what God sees in you, keep several things in mind. His deep love for you is not limited by any conditions. He values and esteems you just as you are. You do not have to perform for Him. God values your potential and the abilities that He has given to you. Recognize and acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses so that He can use them in your life.
To discover the qualities that God sees in you, ask Him to show them to you. Trust Him completely so that you can be your true self with Him. He will bring out the best in you.
Both fear and pride have roots that come from the spiritual power of sin. They can put your focus entirely on yourself. The purpose of fear is to turn you away from God’s love and protection. Fear can be called a root sin because it spreads its roots and joins to other root sins like pride.
Pride is also a sin. The spiritual power of pride can influence a person to worship himself or herself and turn away from God. They fear that their needs will not be met by God or anyone else so they try to meet their own needs.
Pride and fear can grow into an extensive root system within a person’s heart. They can lead to idolatry and are both powerful spiritual forces that can lead to separation from God. They can also prevent you from putting your faith and trust in God, His direction and His power.
When you recognize pride or fear in your life, confess them as sins. Ask God to deprive them of life. (Colossians 2:13-14) Repent of pride and fear and fall out of agreement with them. Ask God to give you a heart of faith and humility. Receive your new heart by putting your faith in God and His power. Thank Him for His faithfulness.
A listener wrote to me after hearing several of my interviews.
She wrote, “Nan, I listened to your interview on the Debbie Chavez Show and I enjoyed it so much that I listened to your interview on the Woman to Woman Show! Both interviews were so engaging that I lost track of time. After much reflection, I realized I had more work to do regarding the forgiveness of others and myself.
When you spoke about separating the offender from the offense and forgiving the person but not having to forgive what the person did to you, that was the missing tool for me. During your conversation with William, the gentleman who called during your Woman to Woman interview, I learned I hadn’t asked God to remove any unforgiveness from my heart and that I needed to release those feelings to Him.
I have started reading your book and it’s as if you are reading it to me! Thank you for sharing the power of forgiveness!”
The Peace and Freedom of Forgiveness
After beginning the process of forgiving, the listener mentioned that she felt weightless and it was a good feeling.
I understand that feeling because I have experienced it too. When the burden of sin is lifted, there is a release in your spirit and a light feeling in your heart.
The listener said that she had been dragging her past with her for far too long. As long as you hold on to your own past offenses and the offenses of others, you are bound to the past and you take it with you wherever you go. It affects your spirit, soul, and body.
When you confess your sins and turn from them, you can leave the past behind you. The past is a heavy burden to drag around in your mind and heart. When you release your past to God, you can receive the freedom and peace that He offers you.
The writers of the Old Testament mention a land to be possessed countless times. They write about enemies in the land, people in the land, possessions in the land, sin in the land and life in the land. The land that is written about is a physical land that can be seen with your eyes but it is also a land which must be secured by spiritual means. In the spiritual sense “the land” is really a metaphor for your life, which must be rescued from the sinful enemies that reside there. The enemies that reside in your life are often enemies of forgiveness. They are sins. Some of these sins are unforgiveness, passivity, bitterness, resentment, anger, rebellion, doubt, unbelief, hatred, rage, hostility, and lawlessness.
The way to drive your enemies out of the land of your life is through confession of your sins and repentance. As you name, confess, repent, and renounce your sins, you can take back the ground of your life that you have yielded to your enemies. God is committed to driving your enemies out slowly. Exodus 23:29-30 ” I will not drive them out before you in a single year…I will drive them out before you little by little, until you become fruitful and take possession of the land.” AMP
Claim each section of your land and life for God. Resist passivity in your heart and your mind. Stand and walk in diligence and steadfastness to possess the land of your life for the first time or to re-occupy your life.